Whole

Steps moved forward

ushered me in lap of grace

Awkward, I gape

Should I shut my eyes?

Join my hands ?

Should I keep the eyes open and stare

The drums drowned the queries

The burning started slowly

It caught on faster than I could blink

All of me – as I have known

Burned in a wink

A stream of bliss so strong

The liquid blurred the solid contours

As though

Bliss water melted rocks and mountain

A hole I had carried for so long

Longing

Unrelenting yearning

Questions

A hole, a gap

That sieved my joy

Now as I burned in your pious fire, I wished

I wished the hole could be bigger

And I could fit more of whole

Compassion beyond lived experience

Grace

How I lived without knowing

In a womb safe

Not seeing

Just knowing

Now pain and bliss mangled into a mesh

What matters only is to know that

Who meshed in me that moment

Lived now this experience of grace

Fortune smiles not only in brave

But the silly ones who can love without gains

A part of that whole

Waits to be whole again

-Poet and Counsellor Rupika Moitra