Life is not an absolute. Parts of it are perfect and some part are not so perfect. Embracing the imperfect bits gets harder when we are conditioned to flaunt only the bits that are picture perfect. Here is my effort to keep it chaotic and real.
Two corresponding incidents of life:
Driving out of my driveway, I kept finding a car always parked in such an odd spot, blocking my way. I was getting late to drop the kids to school. I kept thinking I should leave a note saying “Please park mindfully, so you are not obstructing others” but didn’t want someone to have a bad day and decided otherwise.
Cut 2- I bumped into this very car that has been annoying me for days. I decided to inform the owner and pay for the damages for mine and their car. I felt much better for it. End of Lesson.
Scene 2- Dropping my daughter off to dance class. Getting late and office hours traffic. Need to park in a cul- de- sac and a tight spot and hit my tire on the curb. It’s a dark night and almost no street light. This very huge man comes out hurling from one of the houses calling names. I realised my first instinct was to be threatened for my safety and yet relieved that he waited for me to come back after dropping my daughter so she didn’t hear any of it. Shocked at his rage and stunned at the language, I mange to stand up for myself- well, not enough but still. I was content still that it didn’t stir me at all. I felt no sharp heartbeats which happened in the past during confrontations, no heavy breathing. I realised that I am now moving to a place of being centered. One practical effect of meditations.
Yet, I kept bringing myself back, trying to understand the rage in that person or the power struggle and fear of space or his love or attachment for his street curb.
The lesson I learnt was only this : I understood that our blessings are almost immediately proportional to how we choose to be. How abundant and forgiving of a situation or a person, we manage and work on becoming.
We find ourselves living in our own created heaven or hell because both are right here. As crucial as it is to stand up for yourself, it is incessant that one knows how to get out of survival mode when we are not in a jungle. Rage is for those who nurture and water the unloved bits of themselves way more than they need to.
I am thankful and proportionately blessed. I wish wisdom upon those souls who forgets easily that everything on this Earth is rented – even the bodies, we live in today. But our legacies have a life of their own and I choose tolerance and compassion. I live it.
– Rupika Moitra